[Strange points] Chocolate crackers and "lonely even though they are connected" - why have we not been able to "interact"?

Why have we no longer been able to "interact"?

Roughly speaking

1. The comedian's gaffe is merely a massive smash of the huge system of "performance culture" that surrounds us.
2. Our true enemy is not individuals. It is the very inconvenient system that makes us "connected yet lonely."
3. The key to recovering from this disease is to regain your own skills, "lonely" and "dialogue," which have become a now-ending species.

Beginning: What a comedian's "gaffe" came to light

Well, the sea of ​​the net is filled with herds of piranhas that flock to the dead whale called someone else's gaffe today.

The fresh corpse that was recently dropped was one of a comedians.

His comments are on the surface too rough. It's only natural that he was criticized for saying, "Who is that you mean?"

But why does this word make our hearts so tumble? Behind his words there was a sense of "unfairness" that only a famous person can have. Some people stand in the ring carrying life itself as a "signboard" and others who send heckles from the audience. Honestly, it's not a fair match.

However, I believe that the essence of this incident lies deeper. This is not just a gaffe, or an anonymous conflict with a celebrity. What he did was accidentally open the lid of Pandora's box. And what came out of the inside was the gigantic and troublesome "something" that we all were trapped in.

The true nature of the "enemy" we should fight

So, what exactly is the true nature of that "something"?

To put it simply, it is nothing more than a grand farce, a "performance culture" that overshadows our society. It was sociologist Shelley Thakur who accused this farce structure earlier and more deeply than anyone else.

Interestingly, she was originally extremely optimistic about technology. In the 1980s, she called the computer "the second self of the self" and praised it as a tool of self-discovery that enriches our spirits.

However, in the next few decades, she witnesses a sight of her optimism betraying. With the advent of smartphones and social media covering the world, people become obsessed with "connections" rather than "dialogue", and their relationships become weaker... She shifted her ideology from hope to concern 180 degrees. In other words, her own intellectual history is the record of what our society has lost.

The conclusion she arrives at - that is the modern pathology depicted in Connected yet Solitary. We are pathetic actors who have been put on stage 24/7 in a huge theatre called SNS, on a stage that we can never get off. "Like" is a digital drug called "applause" in modern times, and in order to get that pleasure, we continue to play more popular and more attractive self.

This system has taken away from us the ability to be alone -- the most important time for humans to face ourselves and deepen our thoughts. As a result, despite being "connected" with countless people, we feel more lonely than ever before. Frankly, it's a joke that's hard to laugh.

The "unfairness" felt by the previous comedians, and the "aggression" of anonymous accounts are at the same root. All of this is a serious condition created by this inept system.

Can we love "perfect AI"?

Let's talk a little about the future here.

If an artificial intelligence has been developed that will only affirm you 100% and will absolutely love you. No matter what you say or do, I praise you for being the best and never dislike you, he's the perfect partner.

So, can you truly "love" that AI?

It's not possible for me. Because there is no risk there. A relationship that is not painful, like you might be disliked or rejected, is, in the end, just a comfortable simulation.

Ultimately, the core of our humanity lies in our lack of control.

Who will I like and who will like me? That makes me what I am.

Our identity exists only in this uncertain, sometimes cruel, but adorable relationship.

And isn't social media now approaching this "perfect AI"? An algorithm that learns your preferences, shows you only what you want to see, and only gives you a pleasant response. It locks us in a comfortable cocoon, but there is no real "other" there. It's just that my own desires are echoing.

How do we regain "humans"?

So, how can we break through this comfortable cocoon and regain our humanity? Here, I would like to propose three specific practices based on Thakur's prescription.

1. A modest strike called digital detox

First, create a "sacred space" in your life that will not allow technology to invade. In the dining table, bedroom, and toilet. It's fine to go for a 15-minute walk a day. At that time and place, you deliberately place your smartphone. You may suffer from withdrawal symptoms at first, but that silence and boredom will give you "time to face yourself." Without this recovery of "lonelyness", there's no next thing.

2. Movement to release from the "like" curse

Next, change your behavior on social media. Instead of reflexively pressing "like" when you see someone's post, try to get courage and give one "open question" in a comment. "Why did you think so?" "Can you give me a little more detail and explain the background?" Efficiency enthusiasts may not understand it, but this troublesome exchange can only bring empathy to them. This is the beginning of a dialogue, not an evaluation.

3. Have the courage to "not add"

Finally, stop playing your perfect self. If social media is filled with sparkling "success stories," why not try talking about your "fail stories" and "confusion"? Of course, it comes with the risk of being ridiculed. But it's not the perfect hero story that really moves people's hearts. An imperfect man still struggles against the front. Your weakness will surely resonate with someone and create a genuine connection.

Ready to choose a dialogue

All three of these practices lead to one resolve.

It is the determination to reject easy "performance" and choose difficult and inefficient "dialogue" even if you risk being hurt.

This is the only way for us to restore humanity in this age of "connected yet lonely."

Side note (recommended book section)

Now, this time we've talked about the huge enemy we face, the "performance culture," and the "resistance" against it.

If you want to "theoretical armament" to continue your resistance, I recommend delving into a thinker named Shelley Thakur.

Reading her works is not merely a study of sociological theory. It also touches on the half-century of knowledge struggles, how a single intellectual who loved technology and believed in its potential, led to accusing its dangers.

First, try picking up "Lonely despite being connected." This book will turn your daily smartphone from just a handy gadget to a sharp "female" for dissecting modern society.